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in which I find Grammar Police salvation

October 24, 2009

This is so brilliant, I can’t comprehend why no one’s thought of it before.

From Dylan Meconis’ Temple of Commerce:

The Grammar Nerd Corrective Label Pack

The Grammar Nerd Corrective Label Pack

“Does seeing a sign that reads TRY THEY’RE “SANDWICH’S” send you into a fit of apoplectic rage?

Grammar Nerd Corrective Label Pack to the rescue! Simply select the appropriate corrective label from this affordable, laser-printed collection and prepare to dole out frontier-style grammar justice.

The labels come pre-cut by me (or my hapless intern) from a single letter-sized label sheet. This reduces postage and ensures that you can carry your favorites around in your checkbook or wallet for application on the go!

Order a single sheet, or prove your dedication with a 3-pack (and save a dollar).”

Sold!!!

No more burying my face in my hands to sob when confronted with grammar sacrilege. I can slap a sticker on the offending article (or person) and feel my vexation immediately dissolve.

My happiness will be complete when they include the following important (life-saving) additions:

  • Your = possessive / You’re = you are
  • Ask = to inquire / Axe = a tool for chopping wood
  • This is misspelled
  • It’s I before E except after C
  • Consult a dictionary before using a big word
  • Don’t be afraid of the Thesaurus, it’s not a mutant dinosaur
  • “Irregardless” is not a proper word
  • You have your homophones confused
  • To = for expressing directions or objectives / Too = for indicating an excessive quantity, or another word for “also” / Two = a number
  • Lay = requires a direct object / Lie = does not require a direct object
  • Lose = verb, to suffer loss / Loose = adjective, opposite of tight or contained
  • Use “an” before a vowel sound, “a” before a consonant sound
  • Stop this instant and enroll in the nearest Remedial English class!

*sigh* I’m going to lie down now.

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