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Lasik ineffective against geekiness: A Father’s Day Post

June 21, 2009

It is a twisted whim of fate’s that my husband can match any type of wiring to its specific appliance at a distance of up to 10 yards, but can’t recognize a person he met from as early as the previous night.

I’ll never forget the time I found him gazing in amazement at a photo of the singer Fergie in my discarded copy of People, thinking that he was, in fact, looking at a photo of Fergie, the Duchess of York.

“Wow! She’s really kept herself up.”

“Um, that’s Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, not the English royal Fergie. Weight Watchers is not that miraculous.”

“Oh. My bag.”

“It’s ‘my bad’, Austin Powers!”

There’s a long list of movie and TV personalities he has mistaken for some other, most times not even remotely similar in visage. Thank goodness he’s not a cop.

You can imagine how aggravating it is to watch a movie with him constantly wrongly identifying the cast. Like the time he kept insisting Alexander Siddig was Gaius Baltar in Battlestar Galactica the entire time we were watching The Last Legion. Of course, we all know it was (altogether now) James Callis.

And here they are, side by side:

                                          James Callis               Alexander Siddig

(the real Gaius is on the left)

Honestly, he’s terrible at faces. The kicker is that he underwent Lasik surgery 2 years ago. It’s a scary Clockwork Orange-y procedure that gives you near 20/20 vision and allows you to do away with all the accoutrements of bad eyesight, i.e. glasses and contacts. So he literally has no excuse!

On the other hand, the man is a veritable fount of arcana and knowledge tidbits. For instance, this is him sneaking history in a typical conversation with the boys:

“Our house was built in 1880, only 18 years after the Emancipation Proclamation and a year before the gunfight at O.K. Corral. Yes, it must have been just like in Wyatt Earp.”

This is also the guy who owned a “Conversational Klingon” CD when I met him, and who painstakingly built a protein skimmer for a saltwater fish tank because I missed the colorful tropical fish in the Philippines. Never mind that he hardly ever needs a calculator to do math, or that he single-handedly built all the additions to our houses (we moved a lot), he had me at protein skimmer.

Eat your heart out, Jerry McGuire!

Anthony engineering with Gabe

Anthony engineering with Gabe

So happy Father’s Day to all the indispensable dads out there!

Keep on keepin’ on. *virtual fist bump*


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