rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated

Yes, although absent here for two whole months, I am alive and well.

And to prove it to you, here is a self-portrait a la Dalek:

The purists will be aghast, but no self-respecting Dalek Goddess would be caught dead without a fur bolero jacket in winter.

And a  portrait of the whole family as Daleks, for good measure:

Exterminate! Exterminate!

There. That should appease the blogosphere gods.

I had planned to come up with a list of excuses for not writing, but it would’ve all amounted to sheer laziness.

So here is a list of made-up reasons instead (pick one):

1. I finally climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro
2. Tim Burton needed my hair to star in his next movie
3. I’ve been celebrating St. Patrick’s Day for the last 2 months, and have just come out of my drunken stupor
4. A hitherto unknown uncle in Peru died, and left me a llama farm with express instructions that I am to herd the llamas myself
5. I’ve been having a torrid affair with the ghost of Dante Alighieri, and my atrocious Italian has me spending an inordinate amount of time translating
6. My hologram broke, so I actually had to go in to work myself
7. The children finally gave me permission to pursue my life-long dream of becoming a Vegas Showgirl/Astronaut

Do you forgive me? I’ve missed you so. I have! I have! Don’t let the lack of a proper come-back post fool you.